Allowing yourself to actually experience your emotions can be very intense. Because of that many times we begin to live on the surfaces of our being. We turn to one form of escapism or another; choose your “poison” for the list and style of escape in all actuality is endless.
When we behave in this way, metaphorically we become a “neat” house with everything shoved in the closets. Without thinking we swallow our painful emotions. Tamping them down, not realizing that all we are doing is saving the emotion for later. We take an active hand in creating our personal field of Yuck.
Emoting and how it can be appropriate has been a hot topic in my life lately. I have been known to do it exactly wrong. When you are releasing old stored emotions, patterns of pain, you don’t need to direct it at anyone. In fact, the “emotional vomiting” for lack of a better term should merely be for the purpose of release. Sometimes, I totally mess that up and direct my emotion at someone undeserving. After I apologize I try to recognize that it is okay to make mistakes in practice, just as it is okay to make mistakes in life. I have found personally that often those recognized and admitted mistakes unfurl into the most beautiful growth point.
Anyway, lately I have been thinking about emoting so much because of my beautiful niece Alexandra finding her voice. Like all babies Alexandra makes no bones about showing you exactly how she feels. It’s pretty beautiful. When she is angry she is angry, when sad she is sad, when joyful she actually glows. Because she experiences her emotions her closets remain clean. She holds no grudges, she harbors no ill will; her identity has not become merged with her fear. Instead her authentic laughter can shift to tears to laughter to tears all before her morning “coffee”.
Over the years, I have done inquiry into what happens when I let my litany of painful emotions out. Allowing myself to feel my feelings, has become a part of my ritual of practice. What happens if I stomp around? Or bellow? Or simply cry? What happens if I let myself experience that anger?
Next time you are alone and have a good amount of time. Take a moment, maybe do some yoga, begin to quiet yourself, then ask: “What am I holding onto?” and “What am I ready to release?”
Once you identify what you are ready to let go of begin to experience that emotion. Then give yourself permission to be dramatic, be ridiculous, mirror a baby, and throw an all out tantrum. Let yourself be uncensored, let yourself just roar.
Remember with these styles of practice things can become intense. Be gentle with yourself and certainly don’t expect it to be pretty. Healing hardly ever is. Sometimes it is easier to do this type of work with someone and I would be happy to hold the space for you. Over the years I have helped many people find their voice.
After the wave of emotion passes, take time to sit silently. Then make your way to a salt bath to finalize that energetic release.