I teach about change a lot. I have a workshop (In Transition) dedicated to its power. I push my students to transform themselves and step out of their comfort zones. And at this moment, I am being schooled on how much change, even when it is positive and kick-ass, is uncomfortable. Frankly, change is hard. Changing is not for sissies.
Currently I am mid move (state-to-state). I am packing 3,000 square feet of living and studio space. I am shifting my business, letting go of my beautiful studio, and transitioning from brick and mortar to: traveling as a teacher, writing my second book, and working with clients online. I was recently and joyfully engaged to my longtime love. A new member of my family was born . My best friend just had twins. I published my first book and with its printing finished a project I had worked on for eleven years. Things are definitely different and in FLUX to say the least.
Change is gonna come, like the weather
They say forever, they say
~ M. Gray
It is times like these, even though I would prefer to eat pizza, brush my teeth with coffee, and drink martinis straight and dirty, that I have to be the most diligent about my practice, my diet, and my sleep. That is because when my stress gets high my nature shifts and I am ready to GO. In times like these I have to rein in my own intensity. I have to actively stop myself from going into overdrive. Otherwise my ass would be up at 3am jumping like a ferret from one task to the next.
Chronic Fatigue, was one of my greatest teachers in how to take care of myself. Prone to burnout and exhaustion, I have to be vigilant at maintaining my health. It took a long time for me to learn my own red flags. To see the burnout creeping in, to recognize my exhaustion before it gains a foothold and claws its way firmly into my being. When those signs flare, I know what to do to stop the train. I choose to be aware and awake, I choose to behave differently.
To counteract my natural inclinations, I make a point of expanding my daily practice. I literally ground myself in yoga, meditation, and breath work. I activate my root chakra (the energy center of safety): I paint my nails red (the color of this chakra), and make myself walk and run out my demons as much as possible. I kiss coffee (and caffeine in general) goodbye. I limit my sugar, focusing instead on eating green vegetables and lean protein. I drink water, lots and lots of water. I look in the mirror and say nice, loving things to my beautiful self. I try to be soft where I can, I rest as much as possible, I remind myself that this time will pass, that the intensity will wain, that these choices are the right ones. That I wanted this change. I chose this change. Rather than identifying with my fear, I choose to embrace my excitement and walk forward, heart open, foot following foot, into this new beginning.
Fear is excitement without the breath.
~ F. Pearls